After removing almost everything from my bedroom in pursuit of an alarmingly large spider, I have had to concede defeat. The wretched thing escaped! Probably retreated outside after the asphyxiating quantities of insecticide I sprayed in there killed off anything that might have served as food.
For which I am profoundly thankful. I had no desire to see it again, even in order to kill it.
Another plus: the place is now sparkling clean. The carpet has been shampooed. The windowsills have been cleaned (geckoes are cute, but they’re also messy). The mattress has been turned (partly as an excuse to check beneath it). The window frame around the air conditioner contains more silicone than Katie Price, and no longer contains a spider-sized gap. And if there was a Guinness World Record for Messiest Window-Sealing Job, I’d have it nailed.
(Lecture to self: See where procrastinating over home maintenance gets you? Mopping up water when the rain comes from the wrong angle, AND hunting large hairy things with too many legs.)
Now I just have to lug all my stuff back from the spare room, and try not to have nightmares.